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Monday, May 6, 2013

Captain's report on severe shortage of virgins!!

A long time ago, on or near Long Island Sound, while sailing onboard "Amazing Potato", I learned that when you were stuck in light airs the only thing that could save you would be the sacrifice of a virgin! So, when racing on AP there was always a collection of small Barbie type dolls available for sacrifice. I can't tell you why but more often than not it seemed to work. And even if it didn't, it gave the crew something to think about besides the fact that we were going slowly!!

Onboard Morpheus, we have always done our best to continue this vital provisioning step prior to long races or passages. There has always been a supply onboard to solve any shortages in the wind department.

Unfortunately, this is normally Debbie's specialty and she was sick before we left St. Martin. Morpheus has NO VIRGINS!!

You might ask why I leave such an important task to someone other than the captain. Debbie actually insists that this is her job, and claims that I tend to purchase (how can I put this nicely) --- "dolls that most likely are not virgins". It's not all my fault, since according to her, it has become more and more difficult to locate virgins in the department stores these days. She claims that she can identify them with a high degree of accuracy.

So, that's a long way of explaining why the winds deserted us approximately six days ago and have not returned. We are powerless to do anything and will need to wait for the wind gods to have mercy on us and allow us to sail once again.

Perhaps some of you could help us out with a sacrifice or two??

- Captain Jim

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