I am going to BenioffLand!

In what has become an annual pilgrimage, I strolled down the hill to collect my free registration badge and gaze in wonder and awe at the spectacle that is DreamForce 2015. The annual rock show, charity benefit, technology conference, social awareness pontification platform, celebrity worship,  publicity spotlight for every progs favorite CEO, new age mindfulness mysticism and conspicuous excess extravaganza has once again taken over the EssEff Convention Center complex. As per usual, all intersecting streets and practically every venue and restaurant in a two mile radius were dedicated to the show.

I don't know when the DreamForce user conference event completely untethered from the very successful but rather mundane software application company SalesForce that sponsors it, but there it is -  an event like a hot air balloon floating into the sky unrestricted by earthbound restraints of profitability or shareholder value, with only the most tenuous connection to the actual product that SalesForce sells.

I've given up trying to understand it. Perhaps, like Burning Man, it is an event that exists outside the realm of rational explanation. Something to simply experience, to roll around in the wind blown dust of shareholder profits, take it all in, and bask in the beneficent fire of the marketing genius and force of personality that is Burning CEO Marc Benioff.

Whatever.  Some pictures and random observations in my few hours at the circus...

The 2nd Weirdest Thing I Saw:

This was the DreamForce Free Speech Zone. No one was there. I don't know what this means.

The Weirdest Thing I Saw:
The Marc Benioff for President Campaign. Disturbing. I was very concerned that someone was taking this notion seriously.

Relieved. "@Benioff for President" is a @SalesLoft #DF15 marketing gimmick. #WellPlayed http://t.co/rkl0yFYmGw pic.twitter.com/iygqAEBpMP

— Mike Wallach (@MWatLarge) September 18, 2015

As it turns out, it was just a Marketing Campaign by SalesLoft. Quite a relief.

The Most Ridiculous Thing I Saw:
Was this line at 4:00 to get into the Panel with Gayle King, Susan Wojciki and Jessica Alba on Women's Innovation Panel:

It was ridiculous because there were plenty of seats, and at 5:00, when the panel discussion began, you could just walk in and sit down. Which I did.

About 15 minutes in, finding the discussion to be less than illuminating, I considered leaving. Which I did.

The Most Concerning Thing I Saw (for shareholders):
It is an investment axiom that when a company starts to build a grandiose new headquarters, it is time to sell the stock. This is SalesForce's new headquarters under construction:

Just Sayin'

The Coolest (and creepiest) Thing I Saw:
These guys - TalkIQ...

A new small startup located in the Presidio, TalkIQ is offering something truly innovative. In this case, I am using the word "innovative" in the old sense of something unique, new, and possibly game changing. As opposed to the more common use of "innovative" as a mandatory adjective for every company and product on the planet. I mean - How many "innovative" Configure, Price, Quote application companies do we need? But I digress.

They claim their product will listen to your sales call, transcribe it real time, analyze it based on their "conversational science" algorithm, update your SalesForce opportunity account, and send a report to you and your boss. Kind of Orwellian (as all good software is these days), but also potentially a real time saver, sales acceleration and sales skill improvement tool.

I have a hard time believing it actually works, but then I have a hard time believing that "Siri", "Cortana" or even "Okay Google" work as well as they do. One to watch.

I only went for one day. One day was enough.

The Celebrity Cruise ship "Infinity"- renamed "Dreamboat" served as a temporary hotel for the event.
Here the relieved ship and crew sail out of San Francisco Bay after disgorging 1,100 attendees.

That Was Annoying

Apparently, while we were diving for abalone over the weekend, my MikeWallach.com domain expired. Which means this blog stopped working, since the original Blogger eatarf242.blogspot.com was redirected through that domain.

So all those good feelings after spending a few days a few days outdoors, communing with nature, and hunting the Great White Snail evaporated into a full blown TPA (Tech Panic Attack) immediately upon arriving home. 

Fortunately the GoDaddy grace period allowed me to renew the domain before it was snatched away by any of the legions of "Mike Wallachs" out there desperate to snatch this domain. Unfortunately, the Domain Name Server link between GoDaddy and Google was severed, and required several more hours/days to figure out what was wrong and how to put it right. 

So, I think it is fixed now. The Blog is back.

But the most annoying aspect of this minor catastrophe, is simply this...

... I don't think anyone noticed it was down.

[Sigh] I'll be back-posting for a while until I get caught up.

Live Blogging Lincoln

On the second stop of my comeback tour. Bob and Rick on a beautiful morning at Lincoln Park.

Sent from my Sprint HTC smartphone.

UPDATE/EDIT 1/6/14: Your loyal blogger suffered a catastrophic technical failure on the course yesterday. The HTC smartphone battery was depleted by the 3rd hole. We did take a few more pics, I thought they were posted, but they appear to have disappeared into the ether. At the turn, I replaced the battery with what I believed to be a fully charged replacement (and replenished the foursome spirits with the traditional beer waiting in the cooler). Alas, it also crapped out in a few holes.

At this point I cannot say what happened. I suspect that this was simply an act of god, telling me it is time to finally replace the HTC smartphone, and/or telling me to never reveal what transpired on the course.

The remaining pics are still in the phone, but I fear I will be tempting fate by trying to post them now. Best to let these sleeping stories lie.

MW May 1 - Morpheus Mayday* Midway Milestone

On the seventh hour** of the seventh day of our transatlantic passage we crossed the midway point of the journey.

The day started as it always does, with the crew assembled on the foredeck to sing a rousing rendition of The Internationale' while waving red flags in solidarity with our leisure class comrades rioting in Greece for early retirement and lifetime pensions subsidized by Germany.

1127 nm ahead. 1127 nm behind. Don't you know that notion just crossed my mind.

Time to celebrate. As the magic moment approached, we prepared ourselves with a hearty lunch of grilled turmeric chicken sausages. 

Although not aboard, Deb made her presence felt in the ensuing hours as the captain broke out the Midway Party supplies. Perhaps this post is best left unremarked until such time as pictures can be posted. My words cannot do justice to the ensuing images now seared into my brain for all time. Suffice it to say the photos include but are not limited to: Sharks, pirates, hats, rum, cheese chutney canapes, satellite phones, Leonardo DiCaprio, do-rags, beer and Captain Morgan poses. Photographs will be added to this and all passage posts during the Azore hiatus, assuming adequate intertube access. Best to wait.

Captain Morgan joins the crew for the halfway celebration!

[EDIT: Wait no longer - safely moored in Horta, Faial in Azores - your loyal blogger is taking this opportunity to upload a selection of photos - in no particular order, without comment or further ado]

Strictly speaking, this is only the midpoint of the first leg of our transatlantic passage - the long leg from Sint Maarten to the Azores. The crew is eagerly awaiting an even bigger and better party when we reach the true mid-point of the complete passage a few days hence. This calculation will be somewhat less precise, as we don't actually know where we are going. We can only hope to recognize the destination when we arrive.


Immediately following the end of our party, the wind died and the engine was started. According to the forecast, we may be motor sailing until we run out of fuel. After that, well, we will see.....

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for information see: http://www.sailmail.com

 * This is,of course,  in reference to the International Holiday of Solidarity With Our Working Class Comrades and not intended as a distress call.  I am not sure why anyone would think that blogger is an appropriate medium to call for help when their ship is going down. But just in case, do not call the Coast Guard. We are fine.

** If you don't start counting hours until 7:00 AM. Which we don't.

Chevron Refinery Fire - Not the usual view from the terrace

Whoa. This is happening now. Our view across the bay.  It's the Richmond Chevron refinery. Hope that everyone at the plant is alright, but I wouldn't bet on it.

The news:

Large fire burning at Chevron refinery in Richmond

"RICHMOND -- Crews are responding to a large fire at the Chevron refinery in Richmond.  Flames and at least two large plumes of black smoke are rising five or six miles into the sky, drifting across the Bay. Flames can be seen from the Bay Bridge and from Jack London Square in Oakland. A shelter in place warning has been issued and BART has closed the Richmond station. Witnesses in the area reported hearing explosions in the area shortly before 7 p.m...."

Not good.

 San Francisco Bay at Sunset with Chevron Refinery Fire [click to biggify]

 Time Lapse of SF Bay at sunset with Chevron refinery fire.

UPDATE:
 Good news is that Chevron is reporting no serious injuries. Amazing. From our vantage point the huge orange flame disappeared as darkness fell, but there was still a lot of smoke.  Unsurprisingly, a variety of  TV, print and blogospheric news venues are covering the fire with continuous breaking updates. including KRON 4 and  SFist:

9:05: According to Chevron official Nigel Hearne, "a leak caused the fire." No word yet as to how many gallons of diesel fuel have been burning. Firefighters are using nitrogen and steam to combat the fire.
 
9:10: According to an air official, the air is at "non detect"; however, four units from HazMat are in place at the scene.
 
9:20: Fire at night, still going strong:

9:30: Emergency rooms "packed" in San Pablo with people reporting breating problems. People are also now wearing masks. Fire still going. No signs of abating.

Looks like they will be fighting the fire all night.

UPDATE II:
 10:30 Just heard a Chevron spokesperson say that the fire is "contained".  Still burning. Still spewing smoke. But contained. And Free Tolls on the Richmond Bridge!  Nothing more to see here folks. Move along.

Back to the Olympics.

Earth Hour in San Francisco

San Francisco at 8:15 PM, fifteen minute before Earth Hour.

Tonight San Francisco observed "Earth Hour", an international celebration of freezing in the dark. Or something. During the hour of 8:30 - 9:30 P.M. local time, people all over the world turned off unnecessary lights. The at 9:31 PM people all over the world turned all their unnecessary lights back on.

San Francisco at 9:00 PM

These pictures were taken 45 minutes apart, 15 minutes before and 30 minutes into the Earth Hour event. Was there a difference? In a word, no.

8:45 My neighbors did not get the memo

I dunno. maybe we are just not as Progressive in the City by the Bay as we think we are. Time to open those reeducation camps? Perhaps.

I understand that they did turn off the lights on the Golden Gate Bridge and at City Hall. Now that was something I could get behind. But unfortunately, they did turn them back on.

The only difference I noted from here, is they turned off the lights illuminating the water tower being repaired on Alcatraz, but left the revolving spot light on, as did the illuminated Coit Tower. Probably safety related concerns for both landmarks.

Coit Tower at 9:10

We wouldn't want boats or airplanes crashing in the dark.

I am sure every participant in this event felt good about doing something meaningful to improve the environment.

It's kind of an environmental "truthiness".

So there is that.

I think they were still using the same bungee cord...

This video is getting lot of play on the news and tubes. On this last New Year's Eve, the bungee cord snaps as a young Aussie takes the 111 meter drop off the Victoria Falls bridge. The cord is still tied around her ankles as she is swept over the rapids. She has to swim underwater to free the cord so she can get to shore. Did I mention the Zambezi is full of crocodiles? Big ones. She survives with bruises and cuts. Un-friggin-believable.


The jump went better for me when I took the same leap of faith from the same bridge in September 1995:


Looking at this video now, that cord does look a little frayed.

They probably should have changed it in the last 17 years.

Bears, Eagles, Desperation, Magical Thinking and The Super Bowl Shuffle

Chalk this up to an act of desperation. Da Bears have a big game against a resurgent Michael Vick and the Philadelphia Eagles in Philadelphia tonight. Despite putting their 4-3 record up against a losing 3-4 record for the Eagles, the Bears are big underdogs. No one expects them to win. This game will probably tell us whether the Bears are going to contend this year.

If I was to indulge in some wishful thinking - my hope is that the Bears go on from a win tonight to beat Minnesota and Detroit in the rematch, spoil Green Bay's perfect season in Green Bay on Christmas Day, make the playoffs as a wildcard, and in a rematch of last years NFC Championship, knock off the Packers in Green Bay in a blizzard to go to the Superbowl.

Yes this involves some some serious magical thinking, so I am invoking the magic of the 1985 Bears Superbowl Shuffle to help out.

Found this in the archives...

In 1986 I was working at enterprise software supplier McCormack & Dodge. One week before Superbowl XX, the annual M&D sales kickoff meeting was held at the company Headquarters in Natick, Massachusetts. The VP of Sales was based in Chicago and there was a lot of excitement and rivalry building for the Chicago Bears / New England Patriots match-up. It was a fun meeting but the most fun was the the sales team rendition of the Superbowl Shuffle. Greatest.Cover.Ever.

Despite the potential for personal embarrassment, I am willing to take the risk in the hope some of that old magic will rub off. Hey - it worked for the '85 Bears, which most knowledgeable football fans acknowledge to be the greatest team in NFL history. Maybe, just maybe, the magic will work again.

It could happen.

UPDATE:
Look at that. It worked! Bears win 30-24. I'm back on the bandwagon. All it takes is a little 1985 Magic. I guess I am going to have to keep this up front and center for the rest of the season. Not that I am superstitious, its just that, you know, it worked.

Not So Sweet 16 [candidates for mayor]

As a direct consequence of our new public financing rules for the mayoral race in San Francisco, we have a cavalry charge of 16 candidates running for mayor. C.W. Nevius explains:

"It would be safe to say that many San Franciscans don't understand public financing...

Raise $25,000 and you get $50,000. Scare up $100,000 and you get a 4 to 1 match for $400,000. No wonder there are 16 candidates for mayor. It's political happy hour... this is a poor use of public funds. This is the first mayoral race with public financing and voters are learning that it allows candidates to get easy money and, in some cases, to waste it.

The weird catch-22 of San Francisco's system is that once the money is spent, a candidate can't drop out of the race unless he or she pays it back. The problem is that a 2007 change in the law made it possible to start pulling in the money nine months before the election. By the time August rolls around, candidates may be hundreds of thousands of dollars in the hole and can't afford to quit."

So we have candidates who are only in the race because we the citizens of SF are paying them to run for mayor with our money. And the peculiarities of our public finance rules mandate they stay in the race in order to continue to suckle at The City's bountiful teat. But this is all fine because - you know - we in SF have a lot of extra money lying around to finance any candidate who wants to run for mayor. Why would we not want to spend $9 million of our tax dollars for the privilege of sorting through sixteen mayoral candidates? I sure can't think of anything better to do with that money.

As Ron Popeil might say - "But that's not all!" At no extra charge we will throw all sixteen candidates into the mix-master of our first ranked voting / instant runoff election for mayor. On November 8th, all San Francisco voters will cast three votes for mayor in rank order of preference. "Rank" being the operative word in that sentence. Rich Deleon ruminates about the election and The City's progressive future in today's Chron Insight:

"San Francisco voters, as usual, have a lot on their plates. On Nov. 8, they will select a new mayor, district attorney and sheriff, and they will decide on eight ballot measures. In the mayoral race, in particular, the burden of choice will be heavier than in most past elections. Voters must choose from a crowded field of 16 candidates, 10 of whom are current or former officeholders and most of whom are serious, well-funded contenders.Under the city's ranked-choice voting system, the voters will need to do more political homework much earlier than in the past, because this election will be a one-day sale without the option of a later runoff election simplifying choice, for good or ill, by whittling the 16 down to two. And as the voters survey the candidates to decide how to rank and vote for up to three, they will also need to consider two rival charter amendments that address the central focus of recent campaign debates, namely, how to control San Francisco's accelerating public pension obligations and rising health care costs to secure the city's financial future."

Who knows what kind of a gawd-awful mess will come out of this election? Recall that in Oakland's 2010 ranked voting mayoral election, candidate Jean Quan had 10 points fewer first choice votes than Perata in the first vote count. I am talking about - Her Honor Jean Quan, the current mayor of Oakland, who had 10 percentage points fewer first choice votes than the loser Don Perata.

The simple fact is that most SF citizens have no friggin' clue about the ramifications of ranked voting/instant runoffs. While the voters may not understand it, be assured the candidates who would otherwise have zero chance of winning a plurality in the election or a majority in a real runoff know how exactly how the voting system can be gamed.

Net net - As a voter it is more important to decide who to exclude from any of your three votes for mayor than it is to pick who you would prefer to see win as your first choice. In fact you may be better off ranking your favorite as your second or third choice. This is Game Theory Gone Wild. We might as well be drawing lots to pick the next mayor.

At this point, all I know for certain about my mayoral vote is that John Avalos will not get any of my three votes. In this blog I have focused primarily on his position on Sharp Park. Obviously that is not the only or even the most important issue facing our city. However, that issue is indicative of a bigger problem with his character and candidacy.

If he is willing to pander to the most radical progressive constituents, to secure their support by denying the unassailable science and documented accounting on our wonderful Sharp Park, and even go so far as to advocate giving away this historically important 100 year old legacy - this gift to the people of San Francisco, then he cannot be trusted with any leadership role in our city government. But with our convoluted crapshoot of an electoral system, and enough second and third place votes, he could very well be our next mayor.

I only regret I have but three votes to not give to John Avalos.

Maybe this is the nature of future SF campaign themes, posters and bumper stickers under this cluster-forked mess. The only message simple enough to distill to a bumper sticker in this system is a message about who to vote against. How about...

"Do Not Vote for Avalos - Not First, Not Second, Not Third, Not Ever."

The end of an era

One year after buying Palm, HP unceremoniously consigns the company to the dustbin of history:

"HP, a storied brand that was instrumental in expanding the PC industry, announced that its board had authorized exploring "strategic alternatives" for its computer division. That's corporate speak for a sale or spin-off.The Palo Alto tech giant and the industry as a whole have seen a drop-off in laptop and desktop sales and margins, as consumers shift to tablets and smart phones.And yet ... HP also announced plans to discontinue the phones and tablets based on the operating system it acquired through its now clearly ill-fated $1.2 billion purchase of Palm last year. That means it's pulling the plug on its highly promoted TouchPad tablet, less than two months after it hit the market."

Alas poor Palm. I knew him Horatio. I was a Palm user from the very beginning. My first post on this blog was a picture taken and uploaded from a Palm Treo 600. I owned a Palm Pilot personal organizer (I and II) in the nineties when Palm created the category, and stuck with the platform right up until my Palm Pre, apparently sensing the end, committed suicide off of my terrace last month.

I've lost track of how many Palm devices I owned. No doubt I still have contacts in my phone that I entered into that first Palm Pilot that kept being transferred over the years - through the US Robotics takeover and spinout, the Handspring Treo, the Palm Treos 600, 700 and finally into the Pre. I have no recollection who these people are of course, but they are still in there. They have transitioned now through The Borg Google into my new Android HTC Evo. I still don't remember who most of these people are. They will be with me always.

I had hope that WebOS would survive when HP bought it. Not enough hope to buy another one after the Pre took it's final plunge, but hope nevertheless. It really is a great OS and in many ways superior to and more intuitive than Android. But better technology does not survive years of shitty management.

"HP has been hopelessly outmatched in smartphones and tablets despite its $1.8 billion acquisition last year of Palm, whose webOS software was the crown jewel of the deal.

The software powered the fledgling TouchPad tablet and HP-powered smartphones that are being discontinued in Thursday's announcement.The software was well-reviewed, but iPhones and iPads and smartphones running Google's Android operating system—made possible after Apple paved the way—have dominated the fastest-growing parts of the consumer technology market. HP was left in the margins. WebOS smartphones had a worldwide market share of less than 1 percent, according to Gartner.

HP will try to find ways to keep webOS alive, which could include using it in other devices such as PCs and printers or licensing it to handset makers, Apotheker said in an interview. He said he was disappointed with the designs of HP's mobile devices and believed the business would have required too much money to turn around."

WebOS is now doomed to be known as the Betamax of mobile computing.

Rest In Peace Palm... you had a good run.

BTW - the picture at the top of this post featuring my last three Palm devices, and was taken with my HTC EVO, edited in phone to apply the antique effect before transmitting directly to the blog.

Oh - and to anyone over the last few years who selected a Palm device based on my recommendation... sorry about that.

Heading back

This is getting painful.

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

Last bonfire of the 2010 season

For our last and only bonfire of the trip, Brian built another of his one match masterpieces out of scrounged wood in limited time. Tomorrow we leave for the season with an uncertain renovation. Family and friends from around he country joined the campfire via laptops comforably seated around the fire.

Brian kisses his girlfriend goodnight.

Your Daily San Francisco Protest

Walked by this protest at One Market on my way to a haircut.

They are mad at BevMo for some reason.

That reminds me... I need to stop by BevMo for some Red Seal Ale. They are the only ones in town to stock it regularly, and it is becoming increasingly difficult to locate.

-- Sent from my Palm Pre